If you feel like you’re the glue holding your family together at the holidays but it’s leaving you feeling exhausted and used up...then this video is for you!
Here are some tips for how to have happy holidays without running yourself into the ground.
Brief video synopsis:
What people see vs. what they don’t see
Sometimes it feels like everyone is depending on us to make the holidays merry and bright, but they don’t see all the work that goes in behind the scenes:
What They See
Beautiful family photos on Holiday cards
What They Don’t See
Going to 3 different stores to find the right outfits
57 takes to get a good photo
Johnny and Jane screaming and crying b/c they’re tired and need a nap
Jane running around naked b/c her dress was “too scratchy”, and you chasing her to get her to put it on for just one more photo.
What They See
You and your partner smiling at a company holiday party, seeming to have a great time
What They Don’t See
The 3 fights you had about whether or not you should attend the party b/c you hate being around a bunch of your partner’s co-workers that you don’t know
The 17 phone calls you had to make to find a babysitter
The giant mess you have to clean up when you get home b/c said babysitter decided that finger painting with a 2 year old was a grand idea (and now there are handprints on the walls!)
You drooling on yourself the next morning b/c you had a couple extra drinks to reduce the stress of being around your partner’s co-workers and you didn’t get to bed until 2 hours after pumpkin o’clock but still had to get up with the kids the next morning.
What They See
Beautifully wrapped presents under the tree and smiling photos of the kiddos on Faceboook
What They Don’t See
You getting up at 4am on Black Friday just to get a deal on that perfect gift for your kid
You harassing your partner for the umpteenth time to figure out which of their family members are coming to Xmas and how many gifts you need to get for them all
You staying up for 5 hours on Xmas eve, wrapping presents to tuck under the tree for your kids.
Your kids having a meltdown because you wouldn’t let them watch that new movie all day b/c you had to get dressed up to go see the rest of the family
How To Feel Less Exhausted by the Holidays
Make a list of your priorities
Do you actually want to be doing each of these activities and WHY is it important to you.
It’s okay to skip some traditions or say NO to things you truly don’t find value in.
Reach out for help and/or delegate tasks to others in the family
This can be hard for those of us who are used to doing the lions share of the work, but i promise it’s worth it.
Maybe there’s an unwritten rule in your family that you’re the one who does all these things - what would it be like to challenge that this year?
Let go of perfectionism
Maybe this year you send out a holiday photo of the kids screaming and crying on Santa’s lap - wouldn’t that be hilarious?
Learn To Set Healthy Boundaries to Reduce Stress
Setting healthy boundaries with other people is hard! Especially if this is just how things have been for as long as you can remember.
If these suggestions feel hard or require difficult negotiations with family members that you feel won’t go well, then I’m here to help.
I teach skills for managing conflict with others and setting healthy boundaries in my Stress Management Group. Check out the link below and apply for a free consult where we can talk about the difficulties you’re facing and make a plan to create more balance in your life and keep you sane during the holidays and year round.
If you want to learn more about stress in general and how to manage it, check out the Stress Management Counseling page or schedule a free consult call today.
